At the moment, I support a young lady in my home and she has wanted a baby for a very long time which has sometimes put her in a dangerous situations.
Her brother and his girlfriend are now expecting and I am worried how this is affecting her.
She is 24 years old and asked me could she have a doll as she can’t have a baby.
She is now treating this doll as though it was a real baby. I have explained that it is ok whilst we are at home, but not appropriate whilst out in the community.
Hi there,
Thanks for your post. Such a sad case. My advise is to give her a doll, clothes, pram etc. This will comfort her and stop drastic consequences (i.e. taking a life baby) I used to see a lady up town many years ago with her dogs dressed up in a pram. She, so sad, had many haters and abusers…but why? she never hurt a fly and the dogs were well fed and groomed and loved the limelight
Hi. I think you could take a few approaches. One approach relies on her contract with her brother but it would be emphasising the important role of an Auntie and all the things she can do to prepare for her Brother’s baby and how much children value their Aunties. I think making clear being an Aunt is a real job in a baby’s life is a good way to show her she is going to be part of a child’s life, she is not missing out. Secondly, as the previous poster said other people’s reactions to her doll are their business and shouldn’t impact on her. You can have a chat about how some people might think a doll-baby is strange to prepare her for negative comments but otherwise if it makes her happy and reduces distress I don’t see a problem.
Does she need support around what it means to have a baby, does she need support to find a partner?
Have you seen the Books Beyond Words series? There is one around Having a Baby, though think this os geared towards expecting a baby - perhaps it could be used to talk about her brother and his partner and what they will go through